Hey, I’m Ebony.

 

A daughter, sister, wife and mum to my two little loves, Isaac and Zoë. I have eight siblings (yes, eight) and my childhood was loud and messy, but full of so much love and we’re all really close even as adults. Growing up as part of such a big family was amazing, and I guess it’s not really that surprising that after I finished school I ended up joining another big family, the Army Reserves where I was an active member for 10 years. Being able to travel and see so much of Australia was such an incredible experience, and some of the people I met are still my closest friends today!

I’ve always loved being of service to others, and after I retired from the army, working in the health an wellness space seemed like a good fit for me. I’ve always loved knowing things about the body, how it works and what it’s capable of. I worked as a Myotherapist for many years, and ended up specialising in women’s health, mostly working with mums and expecting mums. All this experience made me pretty confident that when it was my turn to have kids I’d be a total pro – well, let’s just say it didn’t go according to plan. You can read more about my story below.

Since becoming a mum I’ve realised that building community is my true calling. Motherhood is the most incredible experience, but the way we live these days also makes it an incredibly isolating one. My family often says I’m the glue that holds us all together, so now I’m on a mission to build an even bigger family of mums so we can all hold each other up. Connecting with people through my work and building this community lights me up every day.

When I’m not busy doing that, my two little ones keep me pretty busy and I spend most of my days baby-wearing, play dough making, baking cookies and playing trains with Isaac. I’m also an essential oil connoisseur, a lover of organising everything (which drives my husband crazy) and as if that wasn’t enough to keep me busy, I’ve also started studying for my Nursing degree (and I hope to do a postgraduate in Midwifery soon after). 

Most of all, I’m just really glad you’re here and I hope we can connect more soon.

Ebony

 

 

 

My story.

 

 

Before I became a mum, I ran my own Myotherapy clinic and specialised in helping women with their pre and postnatal health for years. And I thought that when my time came to be a mum I’d somehow know exactly what to do.

When I was pregnant with my first, I spent so much time and energy preparing for the birth – I read the books, enrolled in birth class, attended prenatal yoga. But I didn’t give a single thought to what would happen after my son was in my arms. I assumed breastfeeding would naturally  “just work”, that my body would be “fine” to return back to work in a week or so, and that I could learn everything I needed to know about parenting from my mum and older sister.

Well, it didn’t really happen like that! After my son arrived, I was inundated with advice from friends and family, a lot of it was conflicting and different, and I was overwhelmed with all the things I “could” or “should” be doing. Breastfeeding didn’t “just work”, in fact, I was fairly close to throwing in the towel the first week. Sleep deprivation and pure exhaustion took its toll on not only me but my relationship with my husband. I felt isolated, overwhelmed and out of my depth.

I had imagined my fourth trimester to be this beautiful bonding experience, but the reality was so far from that. I had completely underestimated how challenging it would be, and I felt like nobody had really given me an honest, raw ‘heads up’ about all that needed to be considered, prepared for, and embraced after childbirth. I was so tired that it never occurred to me to ask for support.

And despite all my years of experience in working with mums, it turns out I was utterly unprepared for the massive transformation of motherhood.

Eventually, I began to emerge from the haze that is life with a newborn, and I found myself ready to discover what my life as a mother would look like. I was left wondering “why hadn’t anyone told us what to expect”? My fourth trimester was what I should have prepared for, and I was confronted with similar stories from the women in my mothers’ group of their experiences. 

It showed me just how important it is for women to be supported through the entire journey of becoming a mother, from first to the fourth trimester and beyond, and about six months after my son was born, I became qualified as a postpartum doula.

In 2019 I welcomed my daughter, and I put everything I had learned to use and my experience was completely different. I had both a beautiful hypnobirth and healing postpartum period. I utilised my village and in doing that, allowed myself time and space to recover from birth, to get to know my beautiful new baby, and to transition into becoming a mother of two.  I proved to myself the value of not only being prepared and gathering a supportive village for birth but also how beneficial and transformative it is to prepare for postpartum and to plan for care after birth.

And now it’s my mission to help support other women through their fourth trimester and beyond because becoming a mother is about so much more than giving birth and taking care of your newborn. It’s about birthing and raising newborn mothers too.

Image credits to Lecinda Ward Photography

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